Happiness wil be my revolution!

It is like when you are a kid and your mom tells you not to do something, then you do it even though you know it is

wrong but you don't wanna tell her because you don't wanna hurt her feelings, why? Because you love her.
So why did you do it in the first place? I guess it is a human need for adventure and rule-braking.
If your mom tells you not to do something OF COURSE you are going to do it. That is how it works, right?
I apologize for all the mistakes and wrong doings, and swear that life will flow naturally on it's patterns of

reclusion, refusion and conclusions.
I never managed to be sober on my doings and follow the voice in your head that says "Dude, don't". Something tells

me... well, Something is a really annoying person.
The human nature that did indeed lead us to evolution must have dissipated through out the years of holocaust and

butchery, cause I have none left. Human kind have none left. We are left to each other's solely mercy, which

doesn't help because humans tend to be inhumans, totally merciless.
So why, I ask you, why do we insist on the same mistakes of breaking people thrust. Is it to assure that there was

thrust in there in the first place? Well, but now there is none, so you conclude it wasn't really really there, was

just a pretend thrust.
Well, dude, I have bad news for you: You are the one who doesn't thrust.
Yes, I know, life is hard and cruel. But it has been like that forever and with everybody, you are not the only

one. So stop crying, go find a job, a boyfriend, leave your parents house and get happy.
Yeah, sometimes you need help from alcohol or movies or something else to remember what is it to be happy, but you

know what? So what?!
As long as you can remember and feel happiness, I say it is ok.
Nobody is happy all the time, that would be even stupid to say because everybody knows it is impossible.
Sadness is there to remind you of how good happiness is and why you sleep everynight with the same person who may

not produce pleasant smells during the night, but he makes you happy.
And that is something worth fighting and living for.
Now that you found the person who brings you happiness, maybe you should bring him happiness.
Be his knight in a shiny armor.

Let happiness be, against the world, your revenge.

- Antonio Sousa
November.29/2010

A Bohemian Rhapsody

A Bohemian Rhapsody
by Antonio Sousa

In November 24th will be 19 years since Freddy Mercury has left the stage. Another one among so many victims of AIDS. I was 4 years old when he died and I am pretty sure that when it happened it didn't really meant anything to me. But what Freddie means to me nowadays is way beyond a rock singer.

He is a symbol, a standard, a martyr, if you wish, in the fight against prejudice.

Althought he was the only rock singer ever to have an audience of 72.000 people (Live Aid, 1985) to sing, clap and swing in unison, Mercury still shows at the 18th position as the most influent rock singer in a list of 100 created by the Rolling Stones Magazine.

His voice would go from an E2 to a F5, do you know of any other rock singer who can do the same?

Freddie Mercury is a symbol in the fight against prejudice, having his life always under speculation about his sexual “preferences”. One time, a reporter asked him "So how about being bent? " by NME in December 1974, Mercury replied "You're a crafty cow. Let's put it this way, there were times when I was young and green. It's a thing schoolboys go through. I've had my share of schoolboy pranks. I'm not going to elaborate further." A writer for a gay online newspaper felt that audiences may have been overly naive about the matter: " with shows that he used to be bullyed when a kid.

Even his band, when he suggested the name Queen, were no so cooperative in the beginning.

Some months ago I was watching TV and zapping through the channels when I stopped for some seconds at an interview with Adam Lambert saying how he was a “singer and not A gay, that is why I don't get involved into the gay community. Here I am an artist, without gender” and I got SO pissed off.

The only reason why you can wear eye mascara, black nails and be openly gay for the world, mr. Lambert, is because the gay community even before you start thinking about existing was fighting for YOUR right to be what you want to be. It is because of Freddie Mercury was in the stage dressed in the way he wanted, expressing his style, the same one you find so modern but he was already showing 30 years ago.

I begun to listen to Queen because my mother used to buy the Cds, she always loved Freddie Mercury. I don't think that she understands what he means to me, the power he has and how the attitude he had decades ago change the world and started a mental revolution for that generation. But makes me happy that she likes Queen and I never heard a word of prejudice from her.

Alas, when I was search for a Freddie picture to put as my profile at facebook, there was a picture of him saying “Freddie Mercury: gayer than a bag of dicks”. In other words, prejudice is alive and burning.

Maybe it is not even the fact that Fraddie Mercury was gay that bothers so many people, but the fact he was free, the fact he said, did and wore what he wanted. A free mind.

I love you, Freddie Mercury, for everything you represents.

------

Pros brasileiros, aqui tá a versão original em português: http://revistaladoa.com.br/website/artigo.asp?id=17125&cod=1592&idi=1&xmoe=84&moe=84

Um Poema de Desespero

E o que eu mais quero
Meu desejo mais puro e intimo
É que o peso dos meus passos
Não passem esquecidos

Que o fogo do meu pranto
E o pavor que vem de dentro
Não fiquem marcados na areia
Que se vai ao sopro do vento

Que não seja em vão meu grito
Nem passageiro o meu passeio
Pelos cantos extremos da Terra

Que a cera da vela acesa
Na mais traiçoeira da horas
Permaneça no canto da mesa.

--------------------------------

And what I really want
My deepest and purest desire
Is that the weight of my footsteps
Won't go unnoticed

That the fire of my cry
And the terror from inside
Won't be marked on the sand
That foes with the wind's blow

That won't be in vain my scream
Nor passengers my steps
Through the extremes corners of the Earth

That the wax of candle that was lighten
During the trickiest hour
Will stay by the table's corner.

Principios da Vulgaridade

E como aprendi com o C.E.M.
Que é meio poeta, meio monstro
Gozar com o pau dos outros
É mais fácil e mais gostoso

Copiar o que alguém esperto
Escreveu e fez famoso
Fingir que são suas as palavras
Vindas da sabedoria dos outros

Eu julgo e sou bem julgado
- Um gênio incompreendido! -
No jogo do desprezo cruzado
Não há batalha que tenha esquecido

Na verdade eu gosto dele
(Ou sinto que podeira gostar)
Só não gosto do que vejo nele
Como preconceito contra o mundo vulgar

Ok, eu estendo que vulgaridade é meio vazio
E que o suprassumo da vida não é sexo
O que é bom, é bom e o que é vazio, é vazio
Mas a linha que divide é tênue e brasil*

Peço desculpas pelo desrespeito, ofensas e desatino
Como crianças no playground brigando pelo brinquedo perdido
Discuto e faço bagunça, ouriço e arrepio
Mas tudo, tudo que faço
É nome de Baco e Dionisio

A Fever To Tell - Aug.6/2010

I have a fever that doesn't seem to pass
I have feelings stuck into the past
The hours and days since then I've seen
Are build into the lost fate of our brotherhood

Happiness is nothing more than the path of the weak
Lets walk together through despair and calamity
And once we pass across the bridge of pain by the River of Tears
Hold my hands 'cause soon will come the time of doubt, anger and fear

Your choice is "no, not calamity
Instead hold my hand, walk with me
Leave behind the path of fear
Join my life where we shall be free"

It makes nonsense, such insanity!
Not seeking pain you chose stability
This world is too cruel and won't let you be
The life you seek there is no way to live!

You laugh and smile (to calm me down)
You hold my hand then hold me tight
"Come with me, live my dream"
It is too hard to believe in such inadequate

"I would walk through hell and eat fire
Or fight bare hand against USA's army
But there is no need, I give you the chance
Let happiness be, against the world, your revenge"

About how Dust is an incovenience

My books in the shelf tell me things I already know
Then they go to sleep without learning new ones
Always the same lines, always the same thing
That is why I say "The Dust In Time"
It covers it's front and top and side alike
It impregnates my books - they are so precious to me! -
I take a wet cloth and make them all clean
'Cause Dust won't stay, in my house or near my dreams
It is dirt and dead skin. It fills what once was clean
It is only a bother and bring more work
To someone who is already tired and seeking sleep
My grandma used to say "Dust is bad energy!"
So I learned straight ahead not to let it linger in
It may come as I am working and have no time to stop and clean
But once I am free and with renewed energy
DON'T EVEN THINK I WILL LET YOU BE!

About how Dust is an inconvenience.
Antonio Sousa
July.12/2010

Tormento / Torment

Para todos os momentos da vida
Sempre haverá sofrimento
É ele quem traz movimento
Crucifica e dá sustento
Apedreja e amplifica

Felicidade só traz alento
E é substancial como o vento
Te deixa esperando por algo
Que se vier virá bem lento

Sofre que é assim que se cresce
Com a dor da morte e o peso do tempo -
Deglute e aproveita cada momento
Aprende a viver na carnificina do teu tormento
Espera e vê e aprende:
Não há nada pra você aqui,
A não ser células mortas e o abraço do coveiro.


20/junho/2010 – Nova York
Antonio Sousa

For every moment in life
There will always be suffering
And it is him whom will bring movement
Crucify and gives base
Rock you out and amplify

Happiness will only bring the whisper of courage
And is as substantial as the wind
Will let you waiting for something
That if comes, will come really slow

Suffer because that is how you will grow up
With the pain of death and the weight of time -
Digest and make good use of every moment
Learn to live in the butchery of your torment
Wait and see and learn:
There is nothing here for you
But dead cells and a hug from the grave keeper.

Ode ao Poeta #2 / The Second Song to The Poet

Vai poeta, vai e publica outro livro
1,2,3 quantos poemas você já fez
Falando do amor por ele e por ela
Reclamando dos desprazeres da vida
E dos prazeres que sente com ele?

Anda poeta, corre e escreve outra letra
Uma atrás da outra formando uma linha
Da linha pra estrofe e pro verso
Falando da beleza do sexo
Explicando os mistérios da morte

Vem poeta, dorme que outro dia já vem
Mas não dorme, não pode, escreve, corre e descorre
Sobre tudo que aprendeu e sobre o que não sabe
Disserta sobre o que não entende
Explica o que nunca viu

Poeta, tu que és burro, que és como a pedra
Que é uma esponja, absorve e solta
Absorve e solta.


-------------------------


Go poet, go and publish another book
1, 2, 3 how many poems have you written
Talking about the love you feel for him and for her
Complayning about the displeasures of life
And about the pleasures you feel with him?

Walk poet, run and write down another letter
One after another forming a line
From the line to a strophe and into a verse
Talking about the beauty of sex
Explaining the misteries of death

Come poet, sleep 'cause another day will come
But you won't sleep, you can't, write, run and elapse
About everything you learned and about what you don't know
Lecturing about what you can't understand
Explain what you never saw
Poet, you who are stupid, who is like a stone
Who is a sponge, absorbs and release
Absorbs and release.

There won't be happiness

Right now I wanna die
Right now: why to live?
If you are, but not here
If even there, there is no end
No happiness or crazy dance
If by my side you choose no dance
Why should I live, if I am sad?
I see it now, you seek her:
Lady Happiness
She is not with me, won't hold my hand
Never with me or by my side
She is so far, so far away
And you are here, but why with me?
I am not happy and will never be
You try so hard but will never reach
the corner of life that lays inside
My putrid soul, so long dead now.

Words

Words are like a knife, they are like a bullet
Once you press the trigger, there is no turning back
At the point of impact they will do their affair
And when they hit the target it's pain is worse than death

You can't stop a bullet or take back a word
Each strike of a knife will cut through flesh
Each word spoken will reach somebody's ear
And maybe what it's gonna do is make true your most terrible fear

A lost bullet can also kill
A wrong word will bring you pain
Sometimes, if aimed to your lover's heart
It will hurt you instead of them

Poets are like this: A killer with words
Assassin of lives and loves and hopes
With words God made what we shall destroy
But in some of our words you may find joy

Some poems are for love and life and happiness
Created from the heart of a true poet or poetess
Will bring down the fear caused by madness
And raise the spirit of the gloomest and destroy sadness

I speak for me only when I say "I am afraid of words"
'Cause they can cause pain if spoken too lightly
Words are a gift and a curse for a writer
Sometimes they cause doubt if written in the wrong "frases"

I am afraid of hurting my man, for I did it more than once
With words ill spoken in times ill favored
Now I care for what I say because I could lose too much
And I set free the feelings of doubt or shame

If your god creates with words, what does a poet do
When writing a poem in black ink or blue?
He creates his fantasy, his perfect world
For me this place is me, a dog and you.

feb11/2010

My pornographic love

* a poem in english and portuguese



In a time like this where could you be?
'Cause in my bed there is no you
There is no smell, no cum or cu
You might be in a bar or your own bed
In a hotel in a far away realm
Sharing fine linens with not so fine man
Or even to make me mad
You might share your body with women

In a night so warm during winter
Where could you be dripping your sweat?
Not in my shower since in my house
I can't see you or hear you talk
Might be on the beach or sleeping under stars
Probably you are dancing, there, where you are

A song shall be made for my feelings of saudade
I will sing during winters that shall come through my body
But in two weeks, when you are back, and from those beds you have only pictures
I will forget about these feelings and suck your cock with such love
That all those men which may have touched you will simply perish
And all those moments that you may have shared
The dust of time and space will cover

Will come the time you will say "I remember..."
But in such time time I will say "Eu te amo..."
And between your legs is where lies, so sweet and tender
The base in which I found my most sweet "planos"
Then will come the day YOU will say "eu te amo"
But you already said, that is why I can rest.

- For David Jackson, Feb.5/2010

Live and Let Live - for Anton Clarke

You don't deserve a poem
So I won't even start this one
Instead I will tell the history
Of how you became no one

To hate and to lie and to steal and to cheat
Maybe everyone will do at some point
Not you though, since for you
These four sordid things are actual and hot

I don't hate you now, nor wish you death
My conscience is free of burden or care
For you no feeling at all I can carry
Since in my life you have no set

I would say "live and let live"
Be crazy, be anguished
Be the liar you are
Life will make sure that in the end
The bill you shall pay will be more than I ask.