The Poison In Your Veins

There is poison running in your blood
A poison that you offer quietly
A drink to death in the touch of the lips
The poison that you acquired

To offer in silence is to commit a crime
To offer openly is simply not right
You simply offer, not denying
You simply show the poison you carry

You don't really care, since you are poisonous
If someone else your poison will get.

To play with poison is the danger in life
To get poisonous is to play with life
Your poison smells good and taste and feels good
But in the end you wish you never had
Kissed the guy who poisoned you.

by Antonio Sousa
september.26.09

To love is to deny the pain

I am sad. Sad as I never should
There is no time
Or cure
Or heal
Or drug
Or drink
Or god who can prove me wrong
He doesn't deserve it! You should stop it!
My conscience is way more beautiful
And smart and stupid
My conscience tells me that I am wrong
I know I am, I know all my mistakes
"And once you draw your last breath
Let the end begins"
To love is to consider the risk
To be or not be treated like shit
I lived things that most people never dreamed about
To love is to lust in a painful way denying pain
Some people will just deny it too much

-----

Estou triste. Triste como nunca deveria ser
Não há tempo
Ou cura
Ou remédio
Ou droga
Ou bebida
Ou deus que me prove o contrário
Ele não merece! Pare com isso!
Minha consciência é muito mais bonita
E esperta e estúpida
Minha consciência me diz que estou errado
Eu sei que estou, eu reconheço meus erros
"E assim que der seu último suspiro
Deixe o fim começar"
Amar é considerar o risco
De ser ou não tratado como lixo
Eu vivi coisas que a maioria nem sonhou
Amar é desejar dolorosamente negando a dor
Tem gente que nega demais.

Porque você faz poema 2 / The reason why you make poem 2

Minha poesia é meta física
E esse é um jeito fácil
De dizer o que não se explica

Isso evita a teoria
E de certo modo erotisa
Pois minha poesia
habita logo abaixo da barriga

Talvez seja outro modo
De quitar minha dívida
- O medo da hipocrisia -
Pois se não é física
Nem da caneta a tinta fica

------------


My poetry is metaphysical
And that is an easy way
To say what you can't explain

This avoids the theory
(And somehow eroticizes)
For my poetry
Inhabits right under my belly

Maybe it is another way
To pay my bill
- the fear of hypocrisy -
'Cause if it is not physical
Not even the ink from pen stays

by Antonio Sousa
Algum periodo de 2008


My second poem inspired on the song "Porque você faz cinema" (The reason why you make movies) from Adriana Calcanhotto

My Weapon of Choice

And if in the fight
They ask what I want
My poetry is gonna be
My weapon of choice

'Cause who can stand
The sadness of my life
Who can survive
The attack of my dark heart?

For I stay with my poems
'Til the very end
'Cause before I was alone
And nowadays I am still the same

My poems aren't sad
They are happy in their way
Sad is who read it
But is too dumb to understand

I wrote this poem some time in July/2008, in response to all these people who say my poetry is sad.

Hope

For hope will be the last thing
The last thing to perish
Shall die all the mankind
Or the stars turn into velvet black
Hope will always be there

From Pandora the box was opened
And time and time again we say:
"That was the men's doom's day"
But that was for Achile's kind
What brought the very happiness

For all the books shall pray
Into their bowed or straight lines
Into their new or destroied letters
That diseases brought the box
When it never brought any sadness

In fact the box was there
A gift from Zeus itself
Even tho the gods like to play
A Zeus's gift will always be from heaven
But in heaven it shall not stay

The box was once miscarried
And Prometheus was baddly advised
His counscience taught him straight
"Don't open what at Olimpo was made
Don't open what the Olimpian gave"

But trully, what was there but
The very only thing that bring happiness?
The very last thing to come from there
Was the shinest and lovely mermaid
A lady called Hope, a name that shall remain.

by Antonio Sousa
Sometime in 2008


I wrote this poem because everybody says that all my poems are sad... what is happier than hope?

The Trick of The Trade

Something I hate
Is to trade my feelings
For money or food
Or shelter or sex

There won't be a change
Or the trick of the trade
My feelings are mine
With me they will stay

I won't be yours
Or anyone else
To believe in this lie
Is to freeze into hell

And will the the stars fall?
Will the sea dry?
Can a heart love
And don't just die?

by Antonio Sousa
For Peter Jackson. July/2008

This poem was written a year ago or so, when I was living with Peter Jackson. Well, I guess you can have a feeling of how happy my life was...
And when I compare this poem with The Rhythm of Life, then I can see how my life changed and how happy I am right now, and that is saying a lot, since I am not one of the happiest guys in this world. Not for anyone's fault but mine.
I always say that "I carry the burden of Death", meaning that I understand that we all die someday. But then, should it be a reason to enjoy everything or a reason to threat existence itself as a burden?

Hello, Cruel World!

"In the beginning there was verb, then verb became flesh", doesn't it makes God, if he is actually there, the first poet? To transmute verb (words) into flesh (life) is what we, poets and writers, try to do at every second given from our lives to the act of writing something that, most of times, will never be read except by it's own creator.
Keeping this same thought in mind, I decided to start this blog, so to divulge my writings (of dubious quality and/or poetry or not).

The name of this blog and the address come from 2 different sources:

The House of The Happy Buddhas is my translation of "A Casa dos Budas Ditosos", a book written by João Ubaldo Ribeiro, Brazilian writer. This book means A LOT to me, it tells the history of a woman living in Brazil in the 50's and how her life (sexual) was free of dogmas and pains, it thought me a lot and I try to lead my life (not in the way she did but) in the way she tries to teach us: free.

betopoetix:
My boyfriend, David Jackson, is a photographer and his website/logo is jacksonphotografix. I love him and he teaches me something new everyday, so it is some kind of homage and copying of his art, which represents a part of human life that most of us try to hide, and he, brilliantly and ingeniously, puts outta there and I am proud of him for it, I am proud of being part of his life.


The image is my left hand (the same used for Quiromancy) and I call it "The Drawn Destiny".